Biggest Surprises of Motherhood

Someone asked me the other day what the biggest surprise was about becoming a parent. When I stared blankly back at her she must have assumed I had fallen asleep during our conversation (ok so my eyes are always sort of half open now so I can't blame her) and she repeated her question and elaborated so that even this sleep deprived, groggy new mom could understand. 

"You know, what is something that you weren't expecting. Something that no one prepared you for". Well, that was a doozy of a question, let me tell you. 

I could have answered about a million different things. 

I could have said that no one warned me just how tired and overwhelmed I would be. That there would be times when I literally felt like I didn't know which way was up, had no idea what day it was and hadn't showered in days.

I could have said that the biggest surprise was the indecision. That motherhood has turned a totally capable, confident, headstrong woman into a complete basket case (or my preferred term- numpty. A total numpty.) who is unable to decide whether to bring the stroller or the carrier. I mean what if she's too cold in the carrier?! And what if the stroller is too big and bulky?! And what if...

I could have answered that it was the shift in priorities that occurred in my life. How making sure my baby was happy, healthy and well fed would take precedence over pretty much anything (and anyone) else. Who knew that I could care so little about makeup, showers and teeth brushing. I mean, over rated, right? 

I very easily could have answered that it baffled me that I could ever love my husband more than I already did. I know it sounds cheesy but I fall a little more in love with him every time I watch him with  our little monkey. I knew he would be a great dad but I didn't realize just how great. Nor did I realize how being parents together, freaking out about baby skin rashes together, and dealing with poo-splosions together (a poo-splosion is a poo explosion folks- NOT fun) would strengthen our bond and bring us even closer.

I could have (and should have) answered that what surprised me the most was how freaking much I ADORE her. I can't even believe how much. It occurs to me several times a day that I wish there was a word in existence that was bigger and stronger than 'love'. Saying that I love her seems insignificant somehow. I SO much more than love her. 

I should have answered any of those things. 

Instead I said: "How much my life has changed." To which she replied: "Oh I could have told you that." 

Ya, thanks for the heads up lady.